FEAR: Everyone Has It!
Fear…there I said it!
Fear is what rules my life, but trying to understand it is how I find the courage to conquer it. On the outside everyone thinks you have it all together, and that’s because we are so used to a world that looks at fear as a weakness. So what do we do? We hide it. We put on a smile so no one knows. Sure you have people that are super close to you, and can read you like an open book, but the rest of society has no clue. People who seem fearless experience fear, but they are able to redefine the good from the bad so that it doesn’t stop them from accomplishing what matters to them.
We know that there are two different types of fear, but how do we tell the difference between them? Good fear: You see a bear charging after you most of us have the natural reaction to run! That’s because the outcome will most definitely threaten our own physical survival. Our body creates an immediate rush, “fight or flight” to react however we might need in an instance. It’s a completely natural instinct.
Now bad fear can create a very similar feeling. Anxiety about what might happen, but hasn’t. Our brains stop thinking rationally, and this can be crippling to some people, myself included. Fear of failure, fear of letting others down, fear of injuries, fear of falling behind, I’m terrified of people, yet I absolutely love getting to know people. It can be daunting! Fear in long term thoughts can wear you down. Even become addicting because it lets us become comfortable with how things are. Bad fear keeps us from changing. It keeps us from our goals, it keeps us from possible promotions, or even just enjoying new adventures.
So how do we deal? How can we understand it? First thing that helps me is there is always change. Everything around us changes constantly so jump right on that change train. Also, knowing that my fear will always be there. It’s not going anywhere. I just have to decide how much attention I want to give it.
It’s ok to hesitate before talking to your peers about things that upset you or you aren’t comfortable with (good), but not saying anything at all because you aren’t sure how they will react (bad) will make that fear grow. Nothing gets accomplished that way.
Even though I love coaching people and it excites me to be able to help others and work for myself, I still find ways to tell myself I’m not good enough, or smart enough. However, I know that if I allow that fear to guide me I will miss the opportunity to do something great.
Let fear push you, but don’t let it keep you from living the life you were meant to live. Face that bad fear head on and just make the choice show up!
Start with good energy. Like a car needs fuel to run, your body needs fuel to run as well. I find mine runs the best when I eat clean. Skip the processed junk and give it some veggies, too! Sleep 8 hours if possible to recharge your brain, and your body. Last, but not least, my favorite part is exercise! Something, anything, just move your body. No energy, no change, just a lot of fear and self loathing.
If we have energy we can focus on being more aware of our situation. If we can recognize and label the type of fear then we allow ourselves to disassociate from it, and move on. It can help us to think positive, and thinking and practicing positivity can change our whole mindset.
I will always have my battles, and just knowing that it is OK to step aside to reboot our mindset so that we can find the courage to face our fears is the first step in a good, and healthy direction.