Why You Should Never, Ever Quit!
We scroll past them every day. Beautiful pictures with motivational quotes. Thought provoking headlines from various entertainment and media sites. “How You Can Live a Better Life in Just 30 days!” the headlines coaxes at you, inviting you to click to discover the magical secret. You may be intrigued, you may keep scrolling because you think you can never change and nothing the internet is going to tell you will make your life any different.
Change is a complex thing. Most of us want it, some of us know we should need it, but almost all of us put off what we need to do to get to where we want to be. We justify our actions and self-sabotage for what? Because status quo is easy and comfortable. You’ve heard the saying, “change occurs outside your comfort zone”? It’s sophomoric and looks great on a poster, but I hate to tell you…it’s true. And I’m an example.
Author and motivational speaker Mel Robbins recently spoke during a TED Talk and drove home a concept that I have related to myself but was never able to put into words. She says when you get an idea, you have 5 seconds to act on it. If you don’t, your brain immediately starts processing all the negative things that could happen and it will throw on its emergency break, making it harder for you to follow through. Then you have to FORCE yourself to do uncomfortable things to get what you want.
I spent most of my life being scared of everything. Scared to speak in public, scared what people thought of me, and fears of doing anything in public. I have started and quit so many different activities, dreams, and ideas. As I graced my mid 20’s I knew I was never going to get what I wanted if I never DID what I wanted. I slowly forced myself into more social settings, talked to people I really didn’t want to talk to, and did things in front of people I was scared to death to do. And it sucked. But each time I did it, I got a little shot of confidence. The more I did the things I really didn’t want to do but NEEDED to do to accomplish my goals, it (gasp) got easier. Now I speak in public frequently, reach out and have conversations with strangers, and yes I wear my leggings around town because they are comfortable and it no longer matters what the person standing in line behind me at Target thinks of my butt. Some of you have been blessed with outstanding self-confidence and have never had to endure these fleeting thoughts. To you my friends, keep rocking it! But to those of you who know what I am talking about, here are some reason and tips on how to never give up.
1. If you quit something or an idea you really love, you are 99.9% likely to circle back to it later. When you do finally realize you really did want what you gave up, it is worse now because you are weeks, months, years behind where you were when you could have originally started. Instead of giving up, take baby steps. Do one thing a month to get to that dream or idea. Or one thing a week, or even one thing a day. Those little steps are better then abandoning hope all together and having to pick up the pieces later when you realize how bad of an idea quitting was in the first place. Mel Robbins says that when you get an idea, you must tie it to an action the first 5 seconds or it’s never going to happen. Send your self a text or write it down, then come back to it and write your plan out. Get a journal and put it on paper. Look at those words every dang day.
2. You will gain confidence every time you do something to get you that much closer to what you want. Whether you take that step to join our family at StoneAgeFuel to get fit, sign up for a 5k, reach out to a coach, put money in your savings for that dream trip to Bali you have been lusting for, each little accomplishment can help you feel good about yourself and what you want.
3. Adulting is HARD. And I’m going to tell you something in your heart you already know or experienced. You will have setbacks. You may even feel like you have failed when something doesn’t go right. Take it from me, the only time you fail is when you give up. Keep pushing!
4. Life is uncomfortable, but don’t let it stop you! The opinion of nameless strangers or even your own friends and family don’t matter in the end. My secret? When things get hard, I imagine myself in a bubble. Yes, like I have a force field around me (keep laughing, it’s ok). I only allow what I want or need in my bubble. One someone is a jerk to me or I read/see something that upsets me and does not benefit me, I imagining it bouncing off my bright purple glittering bubble. This works wonders for me. If it’s not a bubble, try another form of visualization! Take into consideration this little bit published in 2009 in Psychology Today:
“A study looking at brain patterns in weightlifters found that the In some cases, research has revealed that mental practices are almost effective as true physical practice, and that doing both is more effective than either alone. For instance, in his study on everyday people, Guang Yue an exercise psychologist from Cleveland Clinic Foundation in Ohio, compared “people who went to the gym with people who carried out virtual workouts in their heads”. He found that a 30% muscle increase in the group who went to the gym. However, the group of participants who conducted mental exercises of the weight training increased muscle strength by almost half as much (13.5%). This average remained for 3 months following the mental training.”
Visualization is a real thing, try it.
5. Set the example. We all influence someone whether we know it or not. Even if you don’t believe in yourself there is someone somewhere who believes in you and is looking at how great your life is. Don’t give up, if not for yourself, for those to who look to you and depend on you. Be the person who receives the ultimate compliment: because of you I did not give up.
Tools to keep you honest:
-Go shopping! Get fun or stylish stationary, planner, pens to use for your plan. Make it your own.
-If paper is not your thing, invest in some journaling or planner apps for your phone or tablet.
-Change you backgrounds on your devices to a picture of what you want. Want to go to Bali? Put a picture of the beach sunset on your work computer? Want to get fit? Barbells and kettle bells on your phone background.
-Set your goals. What do you really want? Do you know what you really want? Take a few minutes out of you day to write them down. Keep the list on your note keeping app and look at it at least once a day.
-Like I said before, find a mentor, coach (fitness/life/health/wellness) to help you make a plan and bounce ideas off of. They will also help keep you accountable!
-Don’t keep your goals a secret. Don’t be conscious about what you want. Let your friends and family know the things you are striving for. You may get more support then you realize!
-Be kind to yourself. It will take time and there will be setbacks. Don’t dump what you want because you aren’t getting it right now. It will be worth it to stay the course.
Interested in getting started in goal setting, planning, life and health coaching? Contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org